roaringwomyn

I copied the post below from   

eisoj

She is in Palestine/ Israel at the moment doing activist work with Palestinians in a group called ISM.

This situation saddens and angers me greatly! GRRRRRR!!!!!!

*****************************************************
GAZA IN CRISIS

The situation in Gaza is really a crisis now. Israel is strangling the place and due to severe movement restrictions (few Palestinians allowed out and few internationals or Israelis allowed in) information from there is really limited in its ability to reach the world. ppl here in W. Bank are really worried, with daily demos to 'end the siege on Gaza'. Israel says it wont stop until the qassam rockets stop falling on the Israeli city of Sderot nr Gaza (2 Israelis dead in last few months). But with no electricity or petrol, shortages of food and medication and frequent breaks in water supply, how can the people of Gaza be expected to stop trying to fight back? And how can it be justified to hold 1.5 million people under siege for the actions of those who use the rockets?
SOmething like 38 died there in the last week. Israel says they estimate there are 10,0000 'terrorists' there and uses this to justify both the seige and continued incursions and air attacks. Anyone with a passing familiarity with the discourse of 'security' we have developed since Sept 11 2001 can see what is operating here. Here are 2 articles about Gaza.

Ma’an: Gaza Strip’s water, sewage systems to shut down ‘within hours’
January 21st, 2008 | Posted in Press clippings, Gaza Region

The Gaza Strip’s water and sewage systems are hours away from shutting down as supplies of fuel used to run critical pumps run out, the international aid agency Oxfam said on Monday evening.

As of 5pm local time on Monday, only 37 of the 122 water supply pumps have fuel and most will run out of fuel within hours.

Oxfam fears the risks of an outbreak of water borne diseases if the water and sanitation system shuts down. According to Gaza’s water authority 40% of the population, 600,000 people, is now without running water.

Running water will be shut off completely on Tuesday, the water authority says.

“The risk to public health of a breakdown of the water and sanitation system is real and a massive case for concern. Israel must immediately allow fuel into Gaza to avoid any further civilian suffering. Cutting off water to civilians is both immoral and illegal, no matter what the provocation maybe,” said Barbara Stocking, Oxfam’s Director.

“The international community has allowed this chronic emergency to deteriorate and has the responsibility to help solve this crisis. Israel must allow these urgently needed supplies into Gaza today,” added Stocking.

The water and sewage system was already in danger of breakdown due to on going restrictions of goods into the Gaza Strip. There are severe shortages of spare parts, and other materials necessary for repairs and preventive maintenance. The importation of these has been repeatedly denied access since June 2007.


Gaza and the recognition of Israel
January 21st, 2008 | Posted in Journals, Gaza Region

By: Bobby Noe

As has been covered in the news extensively, Gaza’s only power plant has shut down as there is no longer any fuel left to run it. 1.5 million people are in darkness and according to a health ministry official the hospitals ” have the choice to either cut electricity on babies in the maternity ward or heart surgery patients or stop operating rooms,”. The UN is almost out of bags with which to distribute the pitiful amount of humanitarian aid Israel allows into the strip. Gaza is a humanitarian disaster on epic proportions.

Most western news outlets are talking incessantly about the rocket attacks, stating that they are the reason for the siege of Gaza, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Hamas have actually offered numerous ceasefires and the level of rocket attacks have decreased of late (ref 1). As the level of rocket attacks has decreased, Israeli military operations have intensified to include regular air strikes, and the level of supplies reaching the strip has been further reduced.

At the same time, Israel is offering tax breaks for Sderot residents (ref 2) and is offering free land for anyone wanting to build a home near the strip (ref 3). The only conclusion it is possible to reach from these actions is that Israel wants more of its citizens to die.

In the last year only two people died from the rocket attacks (ref 4). As tragic as these deaths are they do not come anywhere near close enough to justify one of the biggest man made humanitarian crisises of all time. Israel knows at some point people will realise this, and is hoping more of its citizens will die so it can continue justifying its murderous siege of the strip as a security measure.

So what does Israel want from Hamas if it not to stop the rocket attacks? The answer is recognition for free. Hamas currently does not recognise the state of Israel, this was the reason given for the economic sanctions imposed on the PA when Hamas won the elections in 2006 (#1), and this is the real reason for the siege of Gaza.

Under UN resolution 242, Israel is supposed to get recognition in exchange for its retreat to 1967 borders, the green line. 10 years after the 6 day war Egypt recognised Israel and got the Sinai back, as per 242. Syria will recognise Israel if exchange for the return of the Golan Heights (ref 5).

Hamas have actually stated they will recognise Israel if UN resolutions 242 and 194 (#2) are implemented (ref 6). The PLO recognised Israel in the late 80s in exchange for a peace process that has done nothing but further entrench the apartheid in Palestine (#3), and is leading to the creation of a Palestinian state cut into non-contiguous bantustans, completely surrounded by Israel, with no water or access to Jerusalem. Israel wants to bomb Hamas into submitting to the same process.

What sort of world do we live in where the ‘extremists’ call for is the implementation of international law and ‘moderates’ such as Olmert and Barak, order the starvation of 1.5 million people?

#1 Incidentally the first time in history sanctions were imposed on a people under occupation

#2 UN resolution 194 calls for the Palestinian right of return. A little known fact is that UN resolution 273, Israels admission to the UN, was supposed to be dependent on the implementation of 194. 194 has yet to be implemented but Israel is now a well established member of the UN.

#3 the creation of areas A, B and C have allowed Israel to construct Israeli only roads connecting C areas, cutting the West Bank into isolated enclaves. The Israeli Army can invade area A whenever it wants, but Palestinians for the most part cannot get anywhere near area C. Israels main obligation under the process, the halting of settlement expansion, has been ignored. The settler population of the West Bank has more than doubled since Oslo, and settlement construction continues today at a frightening rate.

Ref 1) www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/946028.html

Ref 2) www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/946770.html

Ref 3) www.imemc.org/article/52068

Ref 4) A good report to read as well:
www.btselem.org/english/Press_Releases/20071231.as

Ref 5)
ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iJDTD6nB0vQE_e7Oosu3WO4QOPNAD8TS1TQ8

Ref 6) www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3223438,00.html

Current Mood: angry & sad

1. Do you have a tattoo?
2. How old are you?  
3. Are you single or taken?
4. Fish?
5. Do you dream in colour?
6. Ever seen a corpse?
7. How about them hipsters?
8. How did we meet?
9. What's your philosophy on life and death?
10. If you could do anything with me, and have no one know, what would it be?
11. Do you trust the police?
12. Do you like musicals?
13. What is your fondest memory of me?
14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?
15. Would you cheat?
16. What are you wearing?
17. Have you ever peed in a pool?
18. Would you hide evidence for me if I asked you to?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Which do you prefer - short or long hair?
21. What's your favorite day of the week?
22. What's your favorite color?
23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, who would it be?
24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you?
25. What was your first impression of me?
26. Have you ever done drugs?
27. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

been some time...

My hols have been FANTASTIC!! I thoroughly recommend the type of hols where you don't actually go anywhere particular but hang about your home place and do whatever the fuck you like! It's so nice to just do the things I don't have so much time to do whilst working, time to be leisurely, having lunch and coffees with friends of week days!, so much more time for friends...

My performance went well... no prize, but stil had fun. and got many a good response! Did an anti nationalist piece whereby I ripped in two  and stamped on the australian flag. Was unsure what kind of response i would get to this, but was definitely favourable!! Congrats to Shaddy, Megan and Raven whom won prizes.
My next performance will be gurlesque! eehh!  16th December,,, but don't worry I'll give you all plenty of notice leading up...

Moving into Planet X housing co-op (chippendale) temporarily, sub leasing a friends place. I'm so excited! As some of you know I'm on the waiting list there for a permanent place, this alas,is only 4 months,,, but will be a nice taster and good to have my own space, even if only for a short time. And who knows what may happen ? you never know... Moving sun after next... yay! yay! yay! Will be sad to leave this area of inner west. never lived over the redfern, chippo way... so is a big change for me!

Am in process of applying for fine arts/ contemporary arts course at uni next year! Ah.. decisions decisions... exciting to think of though

need to do some kind of excercise.. hmmm...

HF this Fri yay! Think have outfit planned.. as long as not too cold!! 

Current Mood: joyful

WWAHHH!! I'm sick again!! Only this time it's worse. I haven't had the flu so bad in a long time! Had to go shops cause no food in house and near threw up from exhaustion upon my body! Boo hoo! I feel a little better this afternoon...   wahhh!!!

What else to say? Uhm... uhm... not much is coming to my brain...

Had manual driving lessons last weekend. The guy was a jerk but I'll go again just cause it's easier than finding someone else. humph!

Went to an absolute beginners jazz dance class last weekend at the Sydney Dance Company. It was fun.. for about the first hr, then I still had 3/4 of an hour to go, I was grumpy,  tired and over it by then. The class moved really quickly, I had trouble keeping up. Some of the moves were fun, some were a bit dumb. Think I'll go a little bit more to pick up the pace and basic moves, then try street jazz, and hip hop classes. Watched some of the street jazz class and it looked a bit more interesting, less pop vid and more RnB. It was such a strange mix of people.. to 'cool' girls, to middle aged women. It was pretty cool.. cause in the class there was a real emphasis on being sexy and moving your groove thang,,and it just seemed a really empowering thing.

Been feeling quite stressed and grumpy of late. Dealing with hard stuff in counselling which I think has caused me to have physical melt down. eh!

ok going to go now... love love xx

Current Location: home
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: hear birds tweetering

FRIDAY
Didn't get home till 10pm!!! Had horrible work day with not one but 2 suicidal clients!!! Leads me to feeling what the hell am I doing in this work? 8 years of others emotional traumas (+ my own!)is getting to me!
Stayed in with DVD and Indian food.

SATURDAY
Had delightful brunch with
mistressfi


In our usual style we noticed 2and half hours later we were near frozen to our seats.

Home for a while.. Carol dropped around and we had tea. Then onto Sista She, The Naked MC show.
 SO GOOD!!
To the person who will not be named for their own safety.. they are SO good!! so ha! Was a build on from
 the show they last did at Newtown RSL.. was diff as they'd changed some things, the race stuff was MUCH
 more confrontational and moving, and they really sing! They have amazing amazing voices!! I recommend
going.. even the non fans, as you may learn how great they really are! :)P
Caught up with the grrls from Unleash Your Fire. was nice to see everyone, though didn't get much chance 
for chat.

SUN
Did a shift at the anarchist black rose book shop. A slight fiasco as the new keys we had weren't working...
 but we eventually got in! only one customer... but was nice as I got to hang out with Carol. So freakin cold in 
there!
Carol got my computer working last night! YAy! So nice I have the internet in my room! on my computer! Whoo
hoo! Still have to sort out probs with messenger.

Have decided to do a performance at the Newtown strip comp!! yikes!! Will be my first solo on stage
performance and first strip! Ahhhh!!! Haven't set a date yet.. but will be sure to let you all know!
xx
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Current Location: work
Current Mood: cranky

WHOO HOO!!!!!

So update.. have withdrawn my applications-- ah I feel so much lighter and like there are so many more options in the world!!

And I'm going to 4 days in about 2 months! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!!

I'll keep my eyes peeled for other options... but in the mean time going to put my energy into more creative endeavours... and save to go overseas next year! Wanna go to south east asia.. particularly borneo, Malaysia to work in orangutan sanctuary.. such a dream of mine. and go scuba diving in amazing places! i'm going to get my scuba licence in summer!!! Ah such plans!

I can breathe! I can breathe!

I've been jumping around work this afternoon. hee hee!

Current Location: work
Current Mood: chipper

Oh I hate this weather.. so Australian of me... when's this heat gonna end? Oh fuck it's cold.. where's the sun. Really can't keep us happy when it comes to weather.

Stayed at my parents last night..still here now. Is ok. Boring my friends car for a fortnight so decided to make use of it and drive to my folks.. rather than the 2 hour train trip! And I might be getting my parents old car very soon! Whoo hoo.. I mean I feel a little conflicted about this cause I don't really want a car as it takes so much money.. but on the other had it will so much more convenient to get to my work.

Well I finished my job application and handed it in on time - woot! So glad that's over. I may have two job interviews though! Waaa... cause I'm actually applying for a few different position within our organisation. humph! Or it may be a super panel of managers! Yikes!

Started doing this 'Artist's Way' course last week. It's based on this book.. it's a 12 week course you can do on your own or with others. Though you have to be super self disciplined to do on own! It's all about uncovering your creative blocks to expose your creative potential. It's you know one of those self exploratory things. IT's being run by this woman who has a counselling business on Enmore Rd, and it's 5 other women -I'm the baby (mostly dykes (as she did advertising in LOTL). It's going to be pretty good I think. The hardest thing about it is doing the morning pages... they really suck! You have to do 3 A4 pages when you get up each morning (which means half hour earlier!) of stream of conciousness writing. Oh how I hate this. The book says I'll come to love it. I'm not convinced. But I'm already learning things about myself so something is right I guess!
My work mate asked me "are you addicted to groups?" I'm feeling this maybe the case! Oh shit.

Went to Lan Franchee's the other night for their farewell party. Big disspointment really. Quite crowded as you' imagine, bad music and very straight crowd. I stayed there quite begrudgingly for about 40 mins! God I was grumpy though! Me Carol and Meela had a nice decadent dining expererience in Newtown though.. eat out at Indian restaurant (which  was actually a bit dodgy - we think they probly pay wage slavery rates), then to Gree Gourmet for dessert then Ice and Slice for hot chocolate .. mmm... Was lots o fun! Next time I said we should go just do entrees at diff places as long as we can! Can't believe I went out afterward was so full!

Ok well hope you're all well.. love love x

Current Location: parents
Current Mood: & in pain from periods!

Current Location: parents house
Current Mood: sore

I saw a  really great film tonight. The Weather Underground. It's a documentary which was screened at Black Rose Anarchist Book Shop.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the film/ story line it's a documentary about this group in the 60's & 70's - people called the 'Underground Weather men' i- n the US around the time of the Vietnam war. They were a revolutionary group who used violent means to show where responsibility  for war and general fucked up society lie.. they bombed lots of mostly state buildings for many different reasons. They called it 'bring the war home'. Three of the members were killed during this time whilst making a bomb before they went underground... but no one else amazingly enough!
During the time of the bombings they went underground, and were not caught but ended up handing themselves in at the end of the 70's. Only a few were jailed as the FBI has been shown up for using illegal methods to surveil them.

It made me think a lot. It made me think would I ever do anything like this? If struggle ever got to a point where it was armed resistance/ bombing/ and or going underground became important, I could see it's benefit like these young people.. would I do it? They believed the revolution was imminent.. and maybe it was. I'm not sure either way to be honest.

 The film interviews a few of them as around 50yr olds now. Some of them say it was great, and they'd do it again, some felt ashamed and like it was stupid. They were still all passionate about social change and believe their analysis was right. I liked what one guy said right at the end "I feel overwhelmed by all this information... I still don't know what to do with it". I often feel like that. I think it sometimes stops me doing anything, cause I feel so powerless.

It made me think... do I live my life in a way which is congruent to how I'd like society to be? Do I indulge in my privilige? No and yes are my answers.

I felt so moved by the film and it made me question how I live my life. I have been thinking about this a bit lately but feel it even stronger now.. that I want to get involved in more broader political struggle again. It's really been some time since I've done this.

 It even made me question where I put the majority of my time... my job. Do I really want this? Do I need this? I'm not sure.
How can I live my life in the best way which meets my needs, is about my passions, and doesn't indulge in privlige?

If you haven't seen it you should!

Current Location: home
Current Mood: thoughtful

At work bored.. so time for update. I don't get much opportunity to do this at work like I used to... so my desire to do it at home is less so. Anywho!

Had my week and a bit of acting manager. yay! Went well.. lots of staff commented how well they'd thought I'd done, and how supported they felt. So this is really nice feedback! god knows when the position will be advertised though... is so the way here!

Have just rented an art space over the past week with my house mate Meela. Very exciting! Hoping to set up a dark room there soon. At the moment am focusing on drawing and painting. Spent $200 on materials this past weekend! yikes! And I'm always thinking of other things I want. It's been a little hard to find time to go there.. but it's happening!!


The Unleash Your Fire workshops have come to an end and were fabulous!!  Made some really nice friends too whom will stay in contact with! The workshops have really done so much for me.. I think them in conjunction with my counselling. Wow.. maybe soon I'll be a fully functioning sexual human being! Starting to feel much more comfortable in myself, and more connected to my body which is really nice.. and sometimes a little strange!
Been having strong sexual desires for boys lately! Which has felt a little strange for me! Oh well... ??


Been thinking a bit about travelling to south east asia next year. Have no funds or concrete plans... but have a strong pull to go there. I feel it could really change my life and direction -which is kind of exciting to feel! I'm particularly really interested in volunteering in some monkey sanctuaries... this has kind of been a life long dream and to be able to photograph them and other beautiful animals in the wild.


Oh found out my credit rating is fucked due to  one.. just ONE phone bill last year. When I went over seas I very stupidly asked my friend Shelly to take care of it (as was a house bill). when I came back she had not and the house people had kept throwing out the mail! I paid it.. but now it still looks bad as a paid default! Going to see if I can get a company I found online to contest it for me.


Hugs to all on this sunny sunny day! xx

Current Location: work
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: dumb radio station

YAY!!
 I'm goin to Camp Betty! I'm goin to Camp Betty!! Woot!!
YA y yay!!
Just booked my tix online.. you know Qantas was cheaper than virgin blue! Worth checkin out in future. It's in Melbourne and free! or by donation...

This will be my June long weekend.. thanks to the royals

Camp Betty will include a series of workshops, talks, skill-shares, reading  groups, debates, and historical explorations. The aim is to interrogate questions of sex and gender - how we think about them, talk about them, do and live them. 
 
Sex and gender are obviously crucial in thinking of our identities, bodies, and relationships to others and the world. We also think they are crucial to an understanding of other political questions, like the war on terror or capitalism. It is these centralities that we want to explore. 
 
Understanding the importance of sex and gender and incorporating this in our own lives and the world around us is crucial for radical politics. To figure out how to do this, we need to talk, strategise, learn from each other, share our skills and knowledge and challenge our ideas and those of people around us. 
 
We want to dismantle the idea that  these questions are only interesting or important to the usual suspects who care about this stuff (queers and womyn); anyone who's  interested in struggle,  change, sex, gender or art should come and participate in discussions, share skills, debate, and learn. 
 
We want to dissect boring ideas of politics-as-usual that say DIY jam-making workshops, BDSM sex and talking about capitalism have nothing to do with each other. We want a weekend  where you don't have to have a uni degree to talk about politics or revolution, and where discussions aren't totally removed from our day-to-day lives. 'Talking' and 'doing'  are part of the same process. 
 
We want to challenge ourselves to learn new skills, change our ideas, meet strangers, throw away our preconceptions, make links, and embarkon new projects.

Friday:
- panels & workshops
- Vagina Dentata - a film experience
- Band gig (bands tbc)

Saturday:
- more panels & workshops
- a procession (complete with costumery, hair and make-up artists,
float construction, radical manicures, and more)
- a procession reception (art & booze)
- Upstart Alley does Camp Betty (cabaret/burlesque)

Sunday:
- you guessed it, more panels & workshops
- Queer History Race
- Queen's Birthday picnic
- Sweaty Betty (party party)

Monday:
- Hangover breakfast
- Closing panel
- Wind-down games (including quah-jong - queer mah jong)

... leave early Tues to go back to work by midday...

Further details on the Camp Betty
website (www.campbetty. net).

Current Location: home
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: the simpsons on tv

Does anyone know how to find out if you're on the black list credit list - and how to clear yourself? Would be either from phone bills or rental tribunal fiasco.. which wasn't my fault - lesson learnt .. NEVER leave your name on a lease for friends!
I've been trying to apply for a personal loan and been rejected twice now.. begining to get concerned. Another of my colleagues asked for more $ for longer pay back period and got it. Diff bank so perhaps two banks I've tried are difficult. Suggestions??

FINALLY got job description position for team leader position. They STILL haven't set a date for applications to be due however! It also has wanky title.. 'senior practice leader.' Imagine ringing services saying "Hi my names Amy, I'm the Senior Practice Leader.":Embarrassing!

Week after next I will be acting manager for week and day. YaY! It's my chance to shine! ...I hope.
We  move office soon.. perhaps even next week! YAy and boo! YAy more space, much much nicer office, with proper office facilities. Insane the crapiness we have to put up with. However is in Pagewood (by Mascot) will take me hour - hour and a half to get to work! Ahhh!! Need a car!!

Is feeling good to feel so stable and settled at moment. Haven't felt this way for a while.
Actually enjoying work at moment.. mostly, except for suicidal clients!!. Don't even mind 40 hours.. ooh how long can it last?

Today I went for bike ride around Centennial Park with a client.. pretty! was nice. And no hives!

Weekend Plans
Satday: coffee catch up with friend
violin practice
working on slpa spoken word piece
Unleashing Fire workshop
Bling Bling dyke party.. yes it's one of those mainstream events.. oh dear.. Johanna really wants to go this stuff for some reason.

Sunday: Picnic for friend Daniel's birfday at Newtown cemetary
violin practice
Black Rose Film night

xx

Current Location: home
Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: tv

Updates!!

Had a week off work this week !! YAY!!
It was SO nice to be able to sleep in... mmmm...
The weather was disspointing but that's ok.. it was still great to have so much time to do WHATEVER THE FUCK I LIKED!
The one sunny day (Thurs) I spent at the botannical gardens.. taking photos of trees and bats and walkin about, doin research for a tattoo I want. This resulted in some horrible itchy hives all over my neck, chest and tops of arms! Owwww!!! Their still hanging about too.. waaa!! Not sure if was something in gardens or some dodgy preservative they added to this lentil burger I had on circular quay. I think it was actually likely all the dumb grasses in the palace section... but I didn't get any on me.. but maybe the're seeds fly around. I dunno.. haven't had this for some time! Used to get when was a child after eating fariy floss.. but got a couple of years ago from grass being rubbed against my arm.. but was only a little bit. This horrible!! ITCHY ITCHY!!

Anywho... started on my spoke word piece for Bob Buckley SLPA night,  finally got around to sending in photos and writing for memorial zine of my friend Roh,  cooked a bit - took me two goes to get the pancakes right.. they still tasted a bit full of baking soda like - but they looked like pancakes!, stayed in pj's most days till 12, practised violin abit, had lunch with old work friend Ange in China Town and met her new baby Sadie, caught up on emails, did house work, watched crap TV, spent time hanging out with house mate Carol who was sick.. thank god I didn't get it! some fucking miracle I reackon!

Wednesday was Mutiny Zine birthday..  my friend Lou had an indoors BBQ. Was nice, and Carol made special carrot and choc chip cake.. mmmm... so good!! That night was the Sheila Fest Scabaret night... was good but I wasn't feeling in such a social type mood... lots of anti nationalist performances which was quite good to see.

We had to take our cat Marley to vets on Thurs as she'd been unable to meow and laying around a lot in a sickly way. Turned out she had laringitis.. which was some off shoot infection of something worse I can't remember. But she's mendly quite nicely... meow is coming back and she begs to go outside more again.

Yesterday I went to a mental health and radical communities workshop as part of Sheila Fest. Was really good.. didn't expect it to impact on me the way it did. Made me think of the stuff I'm dealing with in counselling and how hard I can be on myself around this stuff. Hmmm... so then came home and went shopping. Debated going to Sheila Fest Film Night but felt too effected by workshop so didn't feel so social again. So made a fuck off amazing vegie pie and invited Johanna for dinner and watched silly movie.

Slept in till 11 am! Woot! Off to Scooter now!
HAve Unleash Power workshop tomorrow... really enjoying it.. not as scary as I'd thought. Though I did cry at end of first one after doing stream of consciousness writing, last week we did lots of movement which was fun.. think I wanna do dancing classes! This week I have to find something which resembles my erotic power to take to class. Hmmm..
.. Looking forward to Sheila Fest Hip Hop Night tommorrow!! Sando 7pm! ...
Not looking forward to work on Monday :(

hugs and kisses to you all m'lovelies

Current Location: home
Current Mood: BUT ITCHY!

I reeived a phone call from my dear friend Josie in the UK tonight.. telling me our friend Roh had been killed on Friday night. She'd been riding her bike in London and was hit by a truck.

My grief is so right now that I almost feel like I've been hit by a truck.

I look at photos and I'd never noticed how inadequate they seem before. The smile on her face seems not even half of the way it really happened. How it would begin as a little smirk, a smile and then when really happy a big grin. How it lit up her whole body and she radiated with such a loving energy. I can't believe I'll never see her smile or laugh again. It really was a beautiful thing. I know people always say these things after death but it really  is true.

I came to know her in 2005  (as Rosie) when she was travelling here and Josie had told her to get in touch with me as she didn't really know anyone. We really clicked and became close friends just as I was near leaving for the UK.. but she was soon to join me back in her home country in a couple of months. I wish I'd seen her more during that trip.

It seems so unfair when Roh had really only just started to explore who she was... only starting to explore her gender queer identity withing the last 10 months or so. Everytime I heard from her things were hard but she seemed happy and enjoying the challenges.

I wish I'd made more effort to contact her, keep in touch, even email more. Just today I was seriously thinking to email her. She really was one of those amazing, close people you meet in your life, regardless of how far we lived I still felt close to her and knew things would be the same when we met up again... someone you just click with and feel so comfortable with. She was such a great support always. I could talk to her about anything and she'd just listen, unjudgementally and always had something useful to say. I think maybe we were so close cause we really understood each other.. so many commonalities about emotions and how we dealt with life. But there's also so much I'll never know about her too.

It doesn't feel right. One day she's just not here. And I feel so far away.

I feel there's so many gaps right now. And I have little ways to fill them. I can't believe she's gone.

Why do people still use lino in kitchens.. or period really?? It's so ugly, hard to keep clean, it scratches and scuffs,... and looks real cheap!
Can you tell I'lve been cleaning?

Took today off work as have a head cold type thing. Woke up this morning with total body exhaustion. Slept in till 12pm!
I think I just needed a break.. all that Resurgence organising, plus full time work, plus counselling, plus trying to have a social life... takes it's toll. As I said to my friend Paul... a good event can be measured by the toll it takes on the organisers bodies and minds! lol

So yes.. feeling bit better this afternoon and thought I'd take the time to do some shopping and cleaning.. been a while since I've done that actually! Tofu water all over the floor actually inspired the cleaning... urghh.. all over me and clothes too!
God day time television is crap!! Watched some Law show, ok.. then Oprah! arhh.. not really just whilst I sat at computer.
Meant to go to queer screen film tonight but not enough energy  to go to Darlo.. oh well, at least I know $ goes to a good place!

Current Location: home
Current Mood: sore

Resurgence was an AMAZING sucess! I think in some ways it kind of exceeded out expectations even!

We had some 70 people turn up through the day to workshops, and eat the delicious free food! And some 200 people to the party over the night! And they weren't all known typical types! And lots of people got involved in even small ways which is always fantastic!

Workshops were really productive with lots of exciting things coming out.. a sex party soon, organising for a permanent queer space, a group of people interested in campaigning around sexual racism, a squatters army going to work towards setting up a social centre, lots of cool rubber sex toys, the thunder collective got a chance to talk to people about their collective around looking at sexual violence in radical communities,and lots of discussions about various issues!

The party was totally amazing! Visuals, DJ's and performances.. unfortunately I was pretty wrecked by 1am and had to leave. but it was nice to see lots of people having fun in part cause I was involved. And we even made some money.. yay!

Got heaps of positive feed back about feeling like a really great productive space, felt inclusive, felt like a nice vibe, great food, lots of fun... yay! yay! yay!
Feel glad it's over now and that ongoing things are coming out of it.. which was totally our aim!
Maybe I'll get some time for myself.. or maybe I'll submerge myself into another project.. hmmm..
There's a real chance to obtain a small space in Newtown for a permanent queer space.. meeting next thurs to disucc it

Spent half yesterday cleaning the venue.. yuk.. was way too wrecked to go fair day or contrabuns. bummer.. though fair day is getting quite ridiculous.. pink australian flags.. yeah that sounds like a smart idea! not! I feel quite pissed off by this uncritical nationalism. Let's just join the band wagon on this 'proud to be aussie' thing.. when has this ever come up as a theme during mardi gras? weird
So yes.. as a result of going all weekend feel like I haven't really had a rest! back to work today! yuk... had yukky incident involving client and child protection issues! groan...

Went to see 

Current Location: home
Current Mood: tired

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Current Mood: contemplative

br>You Are Opium!
You like to have fun and enjoy life. Reeeeeally enjoy life. If it isn't fast, loud, or extreme forget it. You value friendship and are loyal and will not hesiste to go off if someone crosses you.
What Naughty My Little Pony Are You?

so last sat night was the Queer Prom at Lan Franchi's

Seymour Pussy made his first ever appearance... ooh what a hotty! out to pick up the laaddees! 

Current Mood: tired

Looky looky we got a kitty!
Her name is Marley.. isn't she georgeus! The pics aren't the best, and don't really show the extenet of her adorableness.. but it gives you some indication.
She belonged to a work mate, whom had 2 other cats and Marley was getting picked on.. awww.. apparently now one of 'em misses her! too late!
She's been doing lots of cute things like trying to catch flies, and looking out the window at the bird fam next door, running around the house, stretching in all kinds of weird ways and falling off chairs!
We bought her a little cat castle, you know those little carpeted houses with ropes poles they can scratch.. but she won't go near it! We think maybe it smells of former cat (as it was 2nd hand). Does anyone have any ideas to get smell of former cat out, or attract her to it?